| 3 bigs in songggg |
[Sunday 4:39PM * 06/07/09] |
I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight
I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight
I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...
I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"
I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
-t
Do you wanna be my sidedish friend?
Cuz I'll miss you if you go for good, yeah
We can stay together 'til the very end of time
If it's understood...
That I don't want you hangin' out with me
But I want you when I call
We can stay together separately
And we won't be lonely at all
Oh boy, oh boy, I got to think about that, oh boy
Do you wanna be the one on hold?
Cuz you know I'll always come right back, yeah
We can find a quiet place for both of us to go
If you always know...
That I don't want you hangin' out with me
But I want you when I call
We can stay together separately
And we won't be lonely at all
Oh boy, oh boy, I got to think about that cuz
Everytime (everytime)
I think I'm alright (I think I'm doing alright)
I think I'll win you over
I hear you say...
That I don't want you hangin' out with me
But I want you when I call
We can stay together separately
And we won't be lonely at all
I don't want to get too close to you
And I don't want you close to me
There's a backdoor waiting just for you
If this isn't what you need
-k
I heard the sound of your bike
As your wheels hit the gravel
Then your engine in the driveway
Cutting off
And I pushed through the screen door
And I stood out on the porch
Thinking:
Fight, fight, fight
At all costs
But instead, I let you in
Just like I've always done
And I sat you down and offered you a beer
And across the kitchen table
I fired several rounds
But you were still sitting there
When the smoke cleared
And you came crawling back
To say that you wanna
Make good in the end
And oh, oh
Let me count the ways
That I abhor you
And you were never a good lay
And you were never a good friend
But, oh, oh, what else can I say?
I adore
You
All I need is my leather
One t-shirt and two socks
I'll keep my hands warm
In your pockets, and you can use
The engine block
And we'll ride out to California
With my arms around your chest
And I'll pretend that this is real
'Cause this is what I like best
And you've been juggling two women
Like a stupid circus clown
Telling us both we are the one
And maybe you can keep me
From ever being happy
But you're not gonna stop me
From having fun
So let's go before I change my mind
I'll leave the luggage of all your lies behind
'Cause I am bigger
Than everything that came before
And you were never very kind
And you let me way down every time
But oh, oh, oh what can I say?
I adore
You
I heard the sound of your bike
As your wheels hit the gravel
Then your engine in the driveway
Cutting off...
-m
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| identity crisis much |
[Thursday 11:20PM * 05/14/09] |
new hair
new dog
new tattoo
new car
new computer
new degree to be worked on
maybe i oughta slow down. id say this was a mid life crisis but i hate to think im mid life at this point.
|
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| Better Now |
[Thursday 9:30PM * 04/16/09] |
i would like to preface this by saying im feeling so much better its insane.
okay so now alright so ive wasted the last year or so of my life on a blip! just a blip on the radar! ugh thats slightly annoying. so essentially i would outline my life as two teachers, a big spike, and two blips. and why i never know the blips are blips until time has gone by is seriously irritating, it would save so much time and energy if i could immediately know theyre really nothing. also that im evidently still not past spike, man, therapy can really drag a lot out of you haha. if only there was a fix for not living in the past, ill just go with faulkner on that one "the past isnt dead. it isnt even past." yup that makes me feel a little better.
in other news its like 30 days i think til i graduate. then two days after that til i start grad school, awesome. then summer which means summer job.
also i am really really wanting my third tattoo. then i think i oughta stop. but i better get a move on number threeee if i want it before summer cause the sun is coming!
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| you won, so i lost |
[Thursday 10:16AM * 02/12/09] |
how could you do nothing
and say, i'm doing my best
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest
how could you beg me to stay,
reach out your hands and plead
and then pack up your eyes and run away
as soon as i agreed
it just all slips
away so slowly
you don't even notice till you've lost a lot
i've been like one of those zombies
in vegas
pouring quarters into a slot
and now i'm tired
and i am broke
and i feel stupid and i feel used
and i'm at the end of my little rope
and i am swinging back and forth
about you
before it gets so cold
that the rain turns to snow
there's just a couple things
i'd like to know
|
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| what it's like |
[Tuesday 8:33AM * 09/30/08] |
sleepwalking through the all-nite drugstore
baptized in flourescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
yeah, art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
if i was dressed in my best defenses
would you agree to meet me for coffee
if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors
would you still know which one was me
if i was naked and screaming
on your front lawn
would you turn on the light and come down
screaming, there's the asshole
who did this to me
stripped me of my power
stripped me down
i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself
you are like a phone booth
i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and now i'm a different person
different in so many ways
tell me what did you like about me
don't say my strength and daring
'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy
and it's my first time for this kind of thing
i used to be a superhero
i would swoop down and save me
from myself
you are like a phone booth
that i somehow stumbled into
and now look at me
i am just like everybody else
i am worse than everybody else
|
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| bitter heart |
[Thursday 12:20AM * 09/11/08] |
i miss my best friend a whole lot.
but what if he doesnt feel the same way about me?
that would be all out awful.
|
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| goal |
[Sunday 12:45PM * 05/11/08] |
|
im getting so much closer to having an unoffendable heart!
|
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| definition |
[Tuesday 5:58PM * 04/15/08] |
du·plic·i·tousadj. Given to or marked by deliberate deceptiveness in behavior or speech. | Adj. | 1. | duplicitous - marked by deliberate deceptiveness especially by pretending one set of feelings and acting under the influence of another; "she was a deceitful scheming little thing"- Israel Zangwill; "a double-dealing double agent"; "a double-faced infernal traitor and schemer"- W.M.Thackeray |
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[Saturday 8:47PM * 03/01/08] |
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i guess im gonna give up
|
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| ruh roh |
[Sunday 2:57AM * 02/10/08] |
do i push it down
or let it run me right into the ground?
|
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| commence |
[Thursday 12:30PM * 02/07/08] |
|
self destruction.
|
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| TELL THE TRUTH |
[Monday 12:00PM * 02/04/08] |
everywhere people stare
each and every day
i can see them laugh at me
and i hear them say
hey youve got to hide your love away
hey youve got to hide your love away
how can i even try
i can never win
hearing them, seeing them
in the state im in
how could they say to me
love will find a way
gather round all you clowns
let me hear you say
hey youve got to hide your love away
hey youve got to hide your love away
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[Wednesday 1:41AM * 01/09/08] |
it's just as i feared
i have come undone
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[Thursday 1:47AM * 01/03/08] |
|
IN MY LIFE I LOVE WHO MORE? !!
|
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| makes no sense to me |
[Saturday 3:11PM * 12/22/07] |
ugh life. i really dont even want to be home, like legitamately, for the first time of my college life.
i dont know what im doing other than making a terrible mess.
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| abandon |
[Sunday 12:47AM * 11/11/07] |
taken for granted, used, and very very alone.
it's always when you need it the most that it isnt obvious. its no one's fault but i wish it was different.
someone do something nice for me soon.
|
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| well well well |
[Tuesday 5:50PM * 10/30/07] |
Over and over and over again
I say that we're just friends
Forget the implications
Infatuations end
If loves so easy, why is it hard
I can't imagine ever being apart
I'll come back to you
Itd be brand new
But I promise
We're just friends
Over and over and over again
I try to make amends
For everything that I've done wrong
My whole world just ends
Make some coffee, hold me up
Try to talk me out of giving up
I'll come back to you
It'll be brand new
But I promise
We're just friends
|
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| why pt. 2 |
[Thursday 1:51AM * 08/30/07] |
|
i was visiting last night and now at 1:52am, i am waiting the return visit. i'll never understand why this is the way we are.
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| say, |
[Monday 1:12PM * 08/27/07] |
hey i'm doing alright.
i'm doing just fine.
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[Monday 3:25PM * 08/13/07] |
the art of ending things round three:
new beginnings.
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